Meaningful Ministry

One of the major shifts for me in coming to work with CCF at UNC-W has been the size. At East Carolina last semester we averaged about 60 at Overflow, with multiple Guys and Girls small groups. Here numbers are significantly smaller.

But so far I've found myself enjoying the smaller numbers.

Guy's small group Tuesday featured two guys besides Bryan and myself. At ECU I would be discouraged to see such numbers because I'm used to an average of 5 guys besides leaders. Here it's been refreshing and rewarding. Tuesday night featured an amazing time of teaching, questions, discussions with everyone participating. But more than anything, Tuesday night was meaningful. We expanded the definition of sin as something that goes beyond breaking the 10 commandments. We compared mercy and grace, how we are saved by faith. We encountered a question that each of us has to think and pray about on our own the next week "How can be sure of the Bible? How can we explain to someone who's never trusted in the book before that they too can trust in it?"

Ministry can often get caught up in numbers and results, and yes there should be fruit, but is there meaningful fruit? Are there meaningful discussions, teaching, and discipleship happening? Meaningful lives being changed?

The Next Step

Let me start by saying I'm abandoning the series looking at the spiritual journey in Matthew 5. I tried to sit down the other week and work on the next segment, but my heart just wasn't in pursuing it further for now. I'd encourage you to look through the rest of Matthew 5:3-12 with the lens of taking the passage as steps of a spiritual journey to see for yourself what's there.

That said, let me share what has been on my heart.

New Community
I now find myself living in Wilmington, the culmination of a process that was 4 years in the making. I considered and prayed over many different courses of action and ultimately felt God had opened a door for me in ministry and community here. I received further confirmation of this though a night of worship and prophesying at the Boiler Room in Greenville. In brief, two different guys (unaware of my considerations at the time) both saw me in a port city, one ultimately that saw me going before Christ here, pointing people to him.

The opportunity to live with my roommate Bryan was one big reason. Living with a spiritual brother has already proven rewarding, just in being able to share in prayer, guard each others back, and to partner in ministry and life together.

Being able to stay around a college campus was also huge. God has given me a heart for campus ministry and spending this past weekend at a retreat reaffirmed that over and over, through the many conversations I had with students and seeing what God is doing in their lives. The chapter of CCF here at UNC-W is smaller than the chapter I was in at ECU. The chapter here also only has a handful of guys. But this past week I've been blessed to befriend one of the new guys coming to CCF and see him make a decision to rededicate his life to Christ. God is really stirring him on the inside, and God has placed him on my heart as someone to disciple along with the other guys here.

I'm seeking now to find employment as a means of covering the finances of living here and take that burden off my parents. I've also seen them come to ultimately support my decision to come, which has been a prayer answered.

Already I am being stretched and challenged in new ways, some of which I'll share with you as this journey I find myself on continues. Thanks for supporting me with encouragement, prayer, and following this blog. My prayer is the things I share challenge, sharpen, and encourage you.

Empty Handed

During my time here at East Carolina University, God has given me a heart for two areas of ministry. Prayer and going downtown. I can trace the roots of both back two summers ago. It was in Michigan that God showed me the power of prayer, and the need to intercede for the lost and unreached. Driving through downtown Greenville upon arriving back, God began to constantly speak "Downtown, go downtown."

2 years have since passed. I've found myself pushed to the forefront of a movement of praying students and faculty. Where once I felt my prayers did nothing, I now saw God answering them, and I found myself inspiring others to pray. Last spring, after an eventful excursion to Panama City Beach, I began with CCF students to finally reach into the downtown party scene. I've only come across one other ministry that has dared to reach the unreached there.

This semester has been trying however. I lay awake late at nights, my heart burning with desire to continue to see more of God in these areas, to see more fruit, a bigger harvest. Three weeks ago, I contacted students in various ministries on campus to come together to pray for an hour. I contacted over 30 in over 8 different ministries. No one showed up.

The Friday nights I have been in Greenville, I've been asking different guys about joining me in going downtown, to show love, and have conversation with people about God. Of the guys I've talked to, none have been able/willing to go.

I've been disappointed by both instances. Like my voice is falling on deaf ears. With that weighing down on me, I travelled to the Boiler Room earlier tonight. The Boiler Room has been a huge blessing since God established the ministry back after a week of 24/7 Prayer on campus at East Carolina in the spring of 2009. The space is truly intimate, and I can always commune with God there.

Tonight while I was worshipping and praying during the 5 hour "Burn" I found myself needing to confess and lift up spirits of disappointment, as they weighed me down from truly worshipping. As I began to pray over this, I felt God give me this vision. I saw dry, barren, cracked soil, that nothing could penetrate. And I knew underneath lied these seeds that were unable to burst forth because of the hard soil. And then I knew in my heart what was needed was rain, to loosen the soil and allow the seeds to grow.

Immediately I felt God saying, "Pray for rain, Pray for my spirit to go forth." I've been unable to cultivate anything in either prayer or downtown because I was trying of my own power. I recognize now, that I cannot persuade men, only the Holy Spirit can.

I then began to pray and ask for the Sprit to go before me, and call hearts to pray, to call hearts to go downtown, and to open eyes to see what I see. As I prayed the Spirit began to show me a few people to personally talk to. I'm now praying for the spirit to move those people before I talk to them.

I'm going to pour less energy into emailing, tweeting, and facebook updates about prayer gatherings. I'm going to ditch the video idea I had unless God brings someone along to create one. From here out, I'm going to pray for God to call people, and follow His Spirit in where to pray for the rain to fall.

Father I'm letting you resume driving this movement, carry us where you will.

Where I am going

Lately I've been distracted and anxious by looking ahead to where my life is headed beyond college. I often get the question of "What are you doing after you graduate?"

Truthfully I haven't the faintest of clues. It truly is up to God. I pray that at this point in my life I'm willing to go where ever He may send.

But over the past week, I've come to realize two things I believe God is calling me to in my life:

1) Making Disciples. I've come to realize that my most important ministry at East Carolina is that of making disciples of other men here. I've found myself possessing the confidence to teach, and the wisdom to rely on God in sharing my life and His gospel with others. Within this past year alone, I've seen so much fruit come from following God as He goes before me in this area.

2) I am called to intercede on behalf of others in prayer. This is again another gift and direction 3 years ago I never would have imagined for my life. I would have said you are out of your mind had you told me God would use me in that way. But everywhere I turn in scripture I see other examples of intercession from Abraham to the guards Nehemiah posted who kept watch day and night.

And so I find myself awake at 1:30AM unable to sleep because I sense God calling me to intercede for those men and others i know on campus in whom He is moving. This late at night I often feel God nudging me the most. Maybe because I lay aside worries and thoughts of everything else and my heart is free until my body drifts into sleep.

"Yes Father I will keep watch with you a while longer before I sleep"

Vessels

First impressions matter quite a bit. Sometimes too much. Within the first 5 minutes we begin to make up our mind as to whether our professor is worth respect or someone we will despise under our breath.

I wonder what the first impression Jesus gave people was?

The first miracle Jesus performs in the Bible is not to raise some one from the dead, or to demonstrate that nature bends to His will. He changes water into wine at a wedding He is attending.

Water into wine we say? But Jesus didn't drink, and why would he encourage others to drink more? Jesus did drink wine. I don't believe he ever got drunk but anyway I want to talk about why Jesus would chose this miracle as His first.

Lets look at what happens. There are empty vessels. Jesus has them filled with water, which then becomes wine, which is then consumed by all those at the wedding.

In the New Testament God reveals to us His plan of having His spirit dwell in us. In John 4 and again in John 7 Jesus describes the life we receive through Him as living water.

I believe God created us to be vessels, filled with His spirit, and then for us to pour out His spirit into other empty vessels. To be poured out and consumed.

Are we willing vessels? Are we surrendering ourselves to be filled with God's presence, voice, will, heart and love? Are we surrendering ourselves to be poured out into other empty vessels?

Or do we just want to sit up on shelves, collecting dust inside of our vessels while other vessels sit nearby missing what they no not what?