The past month has been a whirlwind that saw me in Atlanta Georgia for the National Missionary Convention, up in Pamlico County helping with clean-up efforts from Hurricane Irene, and also preparing to move out while seeking a new roommate and apartment.
This semester I've been challenged in more ways than I ever previously would have imagined. I've come to realize that I have to seek solely from God the joy that I need to remain encouraged, joy to remain positive, and joy to fuel my trust in him to provide. I've come to realize a lot of heart issues, areas where I was hurt deeply in the past, and insecurities I still have today because of those wounds. I want to spend Christmas break heavy in prayer which I've found provides peace as of recent as Philippians 4:6-7 promises. I want to spend time listening, allowing God to speak words of healing into these wounds, and to become more reassured of the promises He's made, and to clearly see the blessings I still have, and often overlook.
Let me now share some recent prayers answered that have lifted immense weights off my shoulders and is allowing me to return to my more positive self:
1) God has provided a living situation for the spring semester! In moving out as Bryan and I head in different directions living wise, my biggest need was to find a roommate because every 1 bedroom apt I was finding was out of my budget as a ministry intern who raises his own support through the partners God brings to my side. As of this week I've found a roommate through craigslist, a man who also loves God, wants to be in ministry long term and desires to grow in his walk with Him. He's moving from Oklahoma here to NC. We've had several conversations on the phone, and also video skyped to allow each of us to get to know each other more. I've also met his girlfriend who lives here, and she's also a cool sister of the faith. We'll move in together around the end of January into an apt. We're leaning towards a condo I know is owned by some friends at the church I attend, but we're still finalizing details.
2) I've been asking God to take away areas of pride in me, and to erase expectations of entitlement. Specifically I refer to expecting friends who I deeply care about to care about me in return or to desire to hang with me, as I desire to hang with them. I've come to realize that this entitlement is not something I should expect. Friends are a blessing from God and I should trust in Him to bring friends alongside me who He will use to be a joy to me, and myself a joy to them. And even as some of my friendships change, I myself am changing too. And God is reconciling the differences that have risen between my friends and I. This is all still a work in progress but something I'm praying to see more of God working in me to change.
Seeing these being answered encourages me and draws me closer to God through quiet times.