I was continuing to read in Prodigal God last night, a book that has astounded me with insights into the story of the Lost Son in Luke 15. Here's another thought that got me seriously thinking.
The oldest son strived to please himself. He remained loyal to his father, not out of love for him, but with a mindset of thinking "Loyalty will get me what I want." How often do we approach God with that mindset? How often do we worship him in order to get the blessings we feel we deserve? I know I often find hidden motives in many of the things I pray for.
What if we instead prayed and asked God to show us what would please him most in any situation? What if our aim, our desire even was to please God before pleasing ourselves? How much different might our lives look? I will say this much, praying such would be dangerous because we might be led to places our flesh does not want to go. Praying such might mean being humbled, trading away things that we want in order to give to others the things they need.
When faced with those choices, in praying to please God and not ourselves, would we still follow or would we turn and walk away, as the rich young ruler did? (Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, and Luke 18:18-30)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Picking up where I left off
I'm not one for new years resolutions or believing that the start of a new year means a new beginning. The calendar starts over sure, but everything else is a continuation.
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure where to resume. Whenever I spend quiet time I still feel overwhelmed by questions, and feeling tugs from the Spirit. The tugs I'm working on acting towards (some deal with this upcoming summer). Living out of suitcases the next few days also has me more scatterbrained than I would have thought. Hoping to move into the new apt this weekend, but I now have to find another roommate.
Caught up in so many changes and even within all the chaos I'm taking solace in Habakkuk 1:5: "Look at the nations and watch, and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure where to resume. Whenever I spend quiet time I still feel overwhelmed by questions, and feeling tugs from the Spirit. The tugs I'm working on acting towards (some deal with this upcoming summer). Living out of suitcases the next few days also has me more scatterbrained than I would have thought. Hoping to move into the new apt this weekend, but I now have to find another roommate.
Caught up in so many changes and even within all the chaos I'm taking solace in Habakkuk 1:5: "Look at the nations and watch, and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Some recent prayers answered
The past month has been a whirlwind that saw me in Atlanta Georgia for the National Missionary Convention, up in Pamlico County helping with clean-up efforts from Hurricane Irene, and also preparing to move out while seeking a new roommate and apartment.
This semester I've been challenged in more ways than I ever previously would have imagined. I've come to realize that I have to seek solely from God the joy that I need to remain encouraged, joy to remain positive, and joy to fuel my trust in him to provide. I've come to realize a lot of heart issues, areas where I was hurt deeply in the past, and insecurities I still have today because of those wounds. I want to spend Christmas break heavy in prayer which I've found provides peace as of recent as Philippians 4:6-7 promises. I want to spend time listening, allowing God to speak words of healing into these wounds, and to become more reassured of the promises He's made, and to clearly see the blessings I still have, and often overlook.
Let me now share some recent prayers answered that have lifted immense weights off my shoulders and is allowing me to return to my more positive self:
1) God has provided a living situation for the spring semester! In moving out as Bryan and I head in different directions living wise, my biggest need was to find a roommate because every 1 bedroom apt I was finding was out of my budget as a ministry intern who raises his own support through the partners God brings to my side. As of this week I've found a roommate through craigslist, a man who also loves God, wants to be in ministry long term and desires to grow in his walk with Him. He's moving from Oklahoma here to NC. We've had several conversations on the phone, and also video skyped to allow each of us to get to know each other more. I've also met his girlfriend who lives here, and she's also a cool sister of the faith. We'll move in together around the end of January into an apt. We're leaning towards a condo I know is owned by some friends at the church I attend, but we're still finalizing details.
2) I've been asking God to take away areas of pride in me, and to erase expectations of entitlement. Specifically I refer to expecting friends who I deeply care about to care about me in return or to desire to hang with me, as I desire to hang with them. I've come to realize that this entitlement is not something I should expect. Friends are a blessing from God and I should trust in Him to bring friends alongside me who He will use to be a joy to me, and myself a joy to them. And even as some of my friendships change, I myself am changing too. And God is reconciling the differences that have risen between my friends and I. This is all still a work in progress but something I'm praying to see more of God working in me to change.
Seeing these being answered encourages me and draws me closer to God through quiet times.
This semester I've been challenged in more ways than I ever previously would have imagined. I've come to realize that I have to seek solely from God the joy that I need to remain encouraged, joy to remain positive, and joy to fuel my trust in him to provide. I've come to realize a lot of heart issues, areas where I was hurt deeply in the past, and insecurities I still have today because of those wounds. I want to spend Christmas break heavy in prayer which I've found provides peace as of recent as Philippians 4:6-7 promises. I want to spend time listening, allowing God to speak words of healing into these wounds, and to become more reassured of the promises He's made, and to clearly see the blessings I still have, and often overlook.
Let me now share some recent prayers answered that have lifted immense weights off my shoulders and is allowing me to return to my more positive self:
1) God has provided a living situation for the spring semester! In moving out as Bryan and I head in different directions living wise, my biggest need was to find a roommate because every 1 bedroom apt I was finding was out of my budget as a ministry intern who raises his own support through the partners God brings to my side. As of this week I've found a roommate through craigslist, a man who also loves God, wants to be in ministry long term and desires to grow in his walk with Him. He's moving from Oklahoma here to NC. We've had several conversations on the phone, and also video skyped to allow each of us to get to know each other more. I've also met his girlfriend who lives here, and she's also a cool sister of the faith. We'll move in together around the end of January into an apt. We're leaning towards a condo I know is owned by some friends at the church I attend, but we're still finalizing details.
2) I've been asking God to take away areas of pride in me, and to erase expectations of entitlement. Specifically I refer to expecting friends who I deeply care about to care about me in return or to desire to hang with me, as I desire to hang with them. I've come to realize that this entitlement is not something I should expect. Friends are a blessing from God and I should trust in Him to bring friends alongside me who He will use to be a joy to me, and myself a joy to them. And even as some of my friendships change, I myself am changing too. And God is reconciling the differences that have risen between my friends and I. This is all still a work in progress but something I'm praying to see more of God working in me to change.
Seeing these being answered encourages me and draws me closer to God through quiet times.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
A story that blows my mind (Part 2)
In my last post, I broke down one of my favorite stories and shared thoughts I've been chewing on this semester. I'd like to continue that for one more post.
We were looking at the story of the Lost Son, aka the Prodigal Son. I've been reading a book called "Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller that a good friend of mine got at a bargain sale. I've wanted to read the book for 2 years now. It's been a really good read so far. I'd recommend it.
Last post I focused on the younger son, and now I want to focus on the older son.
In the story we discover this about him:
-He felt like a servant, and not like a son (notice he never addressed his father as father)
-He was consumed by a life of duty, and toil, with no joy
-He had never experienced real grace, and like the rest of us, believed in "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth" system of justice.
Jesus told this story to an audience, half of which consisted of Pharisees. The older brother represented the Pharisees, and sadly I believe the older brother represents many Christians today. Not experiencing the joy of the Lord, they are slaves to serving God because they are supposed to, not out of any true desire to bring Him glory.
This semester one UNCW student and I have had many conversations on various road trips and many of them have revolved around grace. We confess that often we feel like we aren't doing enough, we aren't being Christian enough to be at peace with God. And it is peace that we are seeking.
But peace and reconciliation cannot be found by working for them. Grace is a gift and therefore must be received as a free gift. Romans 1-8 breaks this down.
And so we wrestle with receiving God's grace and resisting the human nature to save ourselves by our own means. We remind ourselves that Jesus calls us friends, and God calls us sons.
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15
Father I pray that you would be revealed to the millions of servants around the globe who faithfully serve you, but know you not as their Father. I pray that they would realize the good gifts you offer, and the grace you provide. That you accept us as we are, and not for what we do. In the name of your son Jesus I pray, Amen.
We were looking at the story of the Lost Son, aka the Prodigal Son. I've been reading a book called "Prodigal God" by Timothy Keller that a good friend of mine got at a bargain sale. I've wanted to read the book for 2 years now. It's been a really good read so far. I'd recommend it.
Last post I focused on the younger son, and now I want to focus on the older son.
In the story we discover this about him:
-He felt like a servant, and not like a son (notice he never addressed his father as father)
-He was consumed by a life of duty, and toil, with no joy
-He had never experienced real grace, and like the rest of us, believed in "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth" system of justice.
Jesus told this story to an audience, half of which consisted of Pharisees. The older brother represented the Pharisees, and sadly I believe the older brother represents many Christians today. Not experiencing the joy of the Lord, they are slaves to serving God because they are supposed to, not out of any true desire to bring Him glory.
This semester one UNCW student and I have had many conversations on various road trips and many of them have revolved around grace. We confess that often we feel like we aren't doing enough, we aren't being Christian enough to be at peace with God. And it is peace that we are seeking.
But peace and reconciliation cannot be found by working for them. Grace is a gift and therefore must be received as a free gift. Romans 1-8 breaks this down.
And so we wrestle with receiving God's grace and resisting the human nature to save ourselves by our own means. We remind ourselves that Jesus calls us friends, and God calls us sons.
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15
Father I pray that you would be revealed to the millions of servants around the globe who faithfully serve you, but know you not as their Father. I pray that they would realize the good gifts you offer, and the grace you provide. That you accept us as we are, and not for what we do. In the name of your son Jesus I pray, Amen.
Monday, November 14, 2011
A story that blows my mind (Part 1)
This fall I've been dwelling on grace a lot, and a lot of my thinking centers around the story in Luke 15:11-32. Some call it the Lost Son, others the Prodigal Son. I myself think it should be called the Prodigal Father. Prodigal means extravagant, just in case you didn't know.
Instead of summarizing I'd encourage you to read the story in your Bible, or you can read it here.
The story amazes me for several reasons
1) The father is waiting for his son to return, even though he was considered dead to his son. Once he sees him returning, he runs to him, which in the days of Jesus would have been humiliating for a man of his status to do.
2) The son comes in repentance and asks to be a servant of his father. The father instead takes him back as his son, and extravagantly shows his love as a father by asking for the best robe, shoes, and a ring to be put on him. He also throws a huge celebration, killing the fattened calf. Now my friend Ryne pointed this out to me. The fattened calf would have only been used for a community wide celebration, a block party if you will. To use the calf for anything less was to waste an enormous amount of meat. But this is what the father does.
3) When the other son returns and finds the celebrating going on, he becomes jealous and demands to know why his father's son (note he refuses to acknowledge him as his brother) deserves such treatment.
God's grace isn't fair. Let me repeat, God's grace isn't fair. Think about that, and let the implications sink in. Check out Matthew 20:1-16 and don't be afraid to think and feel that some of the workers got a raw deal.
We don't deserve God's grace, but that is what he offers us. The same grace he offers to us, he offers to all, even those we think don't deserve it. Even to our most hated enemies. Even to Osame Bin Laden and Adolph Hitler.
There are times where I feel as the younger son. I know I have turned from God, but cannot fathom the grace he offers me. And there are times where I feel like the older son but I'll get to that in the next post in a few days...
Instead of summarizing I'd encourage you to read the story in your Bible, or you can read it here.
The story amazes me for several reasons
1) The father is waiting for his son to return, even though he was considered dead to his son. Once he sees him returning, he runs to him, which in the days of Jesus would have been humiliating for a man of his status to do.
2) The son comes in repentance and asks to be a servant of his father. The father instead takes him back as his son, and extravagantly shows his love as a father by asking for the best robe, shoes, and a ring to be put on him. He also throws a huge celebration, killing the fattened calf. Now my friend Ryne pointed this out to me. The fattened calf would have only been used for a community wide celebration, a block party if you will. To use the calf for anything less was to waste an enormous amount of meat. But this is what the father does.
3) When the other son returns and finds the celebrating going on, he becomes jealous and demands to know why his father's son (note he refuses to acknowledge him as his brother) deserves such treatment.
God's grace isn't fair. Let me repeat, God's grace isn't fair. Think about that, and let the implications sink in. Check out Matthew 20:1-16 and don't be afraid to think and feel that some of the workers got a raw deal.
We don't deserve God's grace, but that is what he offers us. The same grace he offers to us, he offers to all, even those we think don't deserve it. Even to our most hated enemies. Even to Osame Bin Laden and Adolph Hitler.
There are times where I feel as the younger son. I know I have turned from God, but cannot fathom the grace he offers me. And there are times where I feel like the older son but I'll get to that in the next post in a few days...
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Demolishing Concepts of Prayer
September 23-25th we took our students on a fall retreat to a camp near the mountains and joined students from NC State, ECU, and UNC Chapel Hill. The theme for the weekend was Worship in Unexpected Places. Our speaker, Neal Alligood, a former campus minister at NC State, shared about worshiping God at different moments in our lives.
During the retreat, I also led a breakout session that students could choose to come to, and shared some thoughts on prayer. Over the past 3 years, I've been really passionate about speaking on, teaching on and leading prayer ministry. For the first half of the workshop, I set about to in some ways demolish how the students viewed prayer. Instead of focusing on what they're praying about, I encouraged them to focus on who they're praying to. We looked at passages of scripture where ordinary men encountered God and they're reaction was fear and awe.
I also asked students "What would their prayer lives look like if they didn't ask God for anything?" For many, they said they wouldn't have a reason to pray. I defined prayer for students as "realizing that we are in the presence of God." Because God is always with us, but we aren't aware of it. How we respond once we're aware I believe is prayer, whether its worship, praising Him, thanking Him, listening to Him, pouring out our hearts to Him, etc.
Don't you want to have a richer prayer time with God? A time where you're eager to pray and might even go for hours on end? Seek to discover more of who God is, and seek to spend as much time with Him as you can, without treating Him like a vending machine and going to him when you want something.
During the retreat, I also led a breakout session that students could choose to come to, and shared some thoughts on prayer. Over the past 3 years, I've been really passionate about speaking on, teaching on and leading prayer ministry. For the first half of the workshop, I set about to in some ways demolish how the students viewed prayer. Instead of focusing on what they're praying about, I encouraged them to focus on who they're praying to. We looked at passages of scripture where ordinary men encountered God and they're reaction was fear and awe.
I also asked students "What would their prayer lives look like if they didn't ask God for anything?" For many, they said they wouldn't have a reason to pray. I defined prayer for students as "realizing that we are in the presence of God." Because God is always with us, but we aren't aware of it. How we respond once we're aware I believe is prayer, whether its worship, praising Him, thanking Him, listening to Him, pouring out our hearts to Him, etc.
Don't you want to have a richer prayer time with God? A time where you're eager to pray and might even go for hours on end? Seek to discover more of who God is, and seek to spend as much time with Him as you can, without treating Him like a vending machine and going to him when you want something.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Let's save ourselves some trouble
One sin caused a 3rd of the angels to rise up in rebellion, leading to a civil war that since spilled out of heaven and onto all of creation.
The same sin led God to disrupt the work of a tower constructed to reach into the very heavens, scattering the people into different nations and languages.
The same sin also led man to reject what God offered as good, and ushered in the greatest fall of all, the separation of creation from creator.
The desire to be of equal footing with God.
Satan desired to be above God. The people who built the tower of Babel strived to be seated on the same playing field as God. Adam and Eve both ate of the forbidden tree to be “like God knowing good and evil.”
Created trying to become the creator. God is God for a reason. How on earth or in heaven above could we be God, when we can’t even begin to comprehend him? And if somehow we could, “A comprehended God is no God at all.” Gerhard Tersteegen. I can comprehend how to make a peanut butter and honey sandwhich, but not even touch how God works.
Why do we as humans strive for that which we cannot be?
I believe its because as humans, we despise having something over us that we can’t control, something we can’t influence. We want control of our own destiny; to be the one to make the rules, decide how things go. Except none of us are perfect, no matter how hard we try, we cannot give out perfect justice. We can’t even provide food and clean water to the rest of our own world.
Although it goes against our human nature, we are better off trusting in God. Trusting in his justice, in his order of things. After all we didn’t set the earth in motion, or establish the various cycles found in nature.
Let’s let God be God and save ourselves the trouble of trying to be divine.
The same sin led God to disrupt the work of a tower constructed to reach into the very heavens, scattering the people into different nations and languages.
The same sin also led man to reject what God offered as good, and ushered in the greatest fall of all, the separation of creation from creator.
The desire to be of equal footing with God.
Satan desired to be above God. The people who built the tower of Babel strived to be seated on the same playing field as God. Adam and Eve both ate of the forbidden tree to be “like God knowing good and evil.”
Created trying to become the creator. God is God for a reason. How on earth or in heaven above could we be God, when we can’t even begin to comprehend him? And if somehow we could, “A comprehended God is no God at all.” Gerhard Tersteegen. I can comprehend how to make a peanut butter and honey sandwhich, but not even touch how God works.
Why do we as humans strive for that which we cannot be?
I believe its because as humans, we despise having something over us that we can’t control, something we can’t influence. We want control of our own destiny; to be the one to make the rules, decide how things go. Except none of us are perfect, no matter how hard we try, we cannot give out perfect justice. We can’t even provide food and clean water to the rest of our own world.
Although it goes against our human nature, we are better off trusting in God. Trusting in his justice, in his order of things. After all we didn’t set the earth in motion, or establish the various cycles found in nature.
Let’s let God be God and save ourselves the trouble of trying to be divine.
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