Monday, February 23, 2009

Don't know what to say...

For those following my blog

Thanks for your faithful following. I havn't post frequently lately, because I've had a lot going on, a lot I havnt revealed to other people in my life who care.

Some of it I don't know where to begin, some of it I don't know how to explain. All I know is I'm caught in a cycle of being afraid of dissapointing people and ending up doing so.

I don't open up well about what really bothers me, what keeps me distracted. But those who know me best have noticed the false front I've been putting up lately. If you didn't, I still count you a very close friend, but like I said, i bury some stuff down deep, and its hard to bring it out.

Be in prayer for me. I'm far from having myself, and this stuff figured out. I don't have things together like I would like. I guess I use jokes as a means of keeping a cheery spirit, of putting up the front that things are allright. I guess too, thats why I keep myself busy, so I can keep moving, and hopefully leave it behind to sort itself out. But I can't run from problems.

Know that I'm not going to open up easy at all about this stuff, especially around other people. I know I have demons I'm wrestling with, and if nothing else, pray earnestly for me.

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