Hard to believe I’m not a CCF intern anymore, or presently with CCF, after 5 years of my life consisting of such. Still adjusting to thinking of the internship in the past tense. Work’s been good, seem to be excelling there, and I can see myself advancing given enough time.
Picking up extra shifts at work has helped tremendously, but I'm also seeing few opportunities to enjoy time with friends. I missed church this past Sunday which turned out to be a bigger deal than I would have first thought personally. I assumed I'd be able to make it up with some focused quiet time, but there's no substitute for real fellowship.
I also really miss the staff, especially just praying together. I'd give an awful lot, just to visit the beach with somebody around sunset and just spend an hour praying together, which I was custom to do most of last summer. I am searching for a post college small group, but all I'm finding is a handful of other guys who are searching in vain for the same thing. Maybe this means us banding together and starting one ourselves.
But in all this, I’m finding that even post internship, I’m faced with the need to rely more fully on God. I can turn to him for fellowship, turn to him in prayer and pour out my thoughts and emotions, and if I quiet my mind enough, I can hear him speak to me on them, and receive the advice and viewpoints I need to make sense of life as I know it currently.
Let me also be clear. I may not vocationally be in ministry, but I’m continuing to study, and grow more in knowledge and in God’s word. I’m praying about beginning discipleship with a friend of mine who recently moved to the area from Oklahoma, and I intend to continue to make God famous in however many ways I can until I can return to ministry full time.
P.S. Expect thoughts later this week on some of my recent quiet times including why I meditate better on a beach overlooking the ocean
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