Last night i discovered something. Watching Charlie Brown with a tummy full of ribs and chili is a quick way to get sleepy. As such I went to bed at 9:30 pm last night. Usually I'm just sitting down (if not out with people at this time) about to study and knock out school work.
Sometimes we just need to stop and rest.
After 10 hours of good sleep, I woke up this morning at 7:30, put on some sweats and headed out into the cold, and drove over to the rec center. There I warmed up on a bike for 10 minutes, catching ESPN highlights from the opening of the NBA season last night on a nearby tv. Then i proceeded over to the track.
After some light stretching, i walked onto the track and stared ahead. Nervousness crept up and down my legs and spine. Anticipating.
You see, its been since the beginning of May since I last run. Tearing your ACL will leave you out of commission for a while physical activity wise. During that time, God changed my heart in so many ways...
1)He gave me a heart of patience as I wondered why me, why now.
2) He reminded me of His love, by sending friends and family to check on me after surgery.
3) He taught me above else, that praying is still the most important thing i can do.
4) He showed me that pain is only temporary, that for some things in life I must push through pain to reach higher.
5) He showed me there is allways a way, even when I didn't think i could carry food and walk with crutches
6) He showed me that i need to rest in His presence, instead of flat out speeding through this life. To slow down a bit.
7) And so much more, but more than anything, He showed me how to deny myself, to let go of my selfish desires. To have more of Him and less of me. That i don't need to brag about my basketball prowness, or that sports are even about winning. God gave us sports to build fellowship, trust with one another, not to one up each other.
He even showed me how to truly listen to others.
And so here I stood. Anxious to take off jogging. Worried that my leg may not be healed enough. I wasn't even sure if I remembered how to run. Seriously, I couldn't remember the sensation in my legs of what it felt like.
So I relearned how to run.
Still favoring my right leg out of habit, I started off plodding my feet one after another, pushing off with my toes, landing on my heels in quick succession. I wasn't gliding along as I used to, but i was running again.
No pain came from my knee. Glee perhaps but no pain. My stamina was strong, wasn't breathing hard at all.
Now I know that I can run. Again.
And I have returned from a sabatical of sorts, with a new heart, a humbleness to admit I am nothing without Him.
Abba, that was a storm, the likes of which I havn't been in since senior year of High School. Thank you for bearing with me during my whining, my desperation, the pain. Thank you for getting my attention when I thought i knew it all. More importantly thank you for dying on the cross. I can't imagine the pain you took for me. My body, my new ACL i give back to you. Use it as you desire.