How is it that within the same day one can go from unspeakable joy to just plain mad?
At the moment, that is where I am within my spirit. I can't even sit down to focus on the assignments coming due tomorrow at the moment, because all I can do is shake my head. I was sorely tempted to call back, to yell in response, and to respond to the accusations. But I withheld. Not because I'm going to keep it bottled up, but because right now, I know my spirit is not in tune with God's and I would only end up speaking out of spite.
As I seethed, I felt the need to pray. I'm praying off and on now as I write this. I just want to put this out there, to voice the frustration, the hurt. I'm calming down, but I don't know when I'll actually call back. Or if I even want to return home after Beach Reach.
The problem lies solely with my mom. For 2-3 years now, steps I've taken in the spirit has led me and my mom to hold very different view points, different priorities. We no longer walk the same trail, nor do we really see eye to eye. I hate to even type this sentence but I have to question the spirit in my mom. Its not one I recognize.
Family Problem aside, its an attack perfectly timed by the Devil. Days away from leaving for Beach Reach, he's slinging as many fiery darts at me as he can.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the Devil's schemes (Adapted from Ephesians 6 as the prayer formed in my heart)