I was reading in "Walking with God" by John Eldredge when I stumbled across something I could say without a doubt described me. (The book is a devotional with writings reflecting his own walk with God everyday). The selection I came across this evening really opened up something in me. I'll tell it from my point of view.
I've found the past few weeks that getting up is hard for me to do most mornings. I've been setting my alarm for 7 or 8 because I want to get up, go for a run, do some reading before the rest of the house is up and about. Then when morning comes, I turn off my alarm, and I roll over. Some mornings I just lay there, not willing to even get up.
Because as I lay there, I'm thinking about what likely is ahead for the day. More housework/outside yard work. "Maybe I'll have work this evening, which would be wonderful." You see, my past few weeks have been far from ideal. I haven't had much interaction with people outside of my family (and what I can steal through facebook), and I haven't truly found something I can take joy in and look forward to during the days here.
And so as I'm laying there unwilling to face the day, I've already made an agreement with the enemy. "My life isn't very enjoyable right now." That agreement is even reflected in the statement I've made countless times to friends this summer when asked how I'm doing. "Oh I'm just working some and biding my time until school starts back in August."
Tonight I realize that agreement was a sham.
WIth a month left of summer vacation, I've realized I've been squandering a gift from God himself. I could be spending precious time with my dad, who normally during school, I only see and talk to when I'm home. The same applies to my grandfather who is on borrowed time as it is. I can be encouraging and planting seeds among some of the church members who I have found are eager to dive deeper into God than during church. I can be better equipping myself for the fall.
But most of all, I could be walking with my Father, and allowing myself to be loved by Him.
Here's to waking up tomorrow, and making only one agreement to start my day.
"I've a Father who loves me, who cares about me, who wants to spend every second with me, and to walk through life with me."